These days Ted is way into sucking his thumb. One night he figured out that if he just got one thumb in there instead of trying to fit both his fists, it was pretty satisfying and he hasn’t looked back since. He has also found that if he keeps his thumb way over to the side he can talk and/or shriek at the same time. Which brings me to the other thing he is up to these days: shrieking. He has found volume. And he likes to use it. Previously if he was making that much noise he was really upset. Now he is shrieking for the pure love of sound.
And to be completely honest, it has been a week of self doubt for me. The whole napping in the crib on a schedule hasn’t been working as well as planned. Many more tears than I thought. Of course I knew there would be tears, but I thought he would have the hang of it by now.
When we went to the doctor on Thursday, she said that I should really try putting him in his crib while he is awake so that he can learn to fall asleep on his own. I know he needs to do this, but really is there any way to have him fall asleep on his own without crying it out? I don’t think there is. At least not for certain babies, I know every baby is different.
This weekend Pat, Ted, and I went to Barnes and Noble, so that I could look at parenting books. They didn’t have as many books as I thought they would on the subject. Two sections devoted to pregnancy and two devoted to the rest of children’s lives up to age 18.
The one I found that seemed to deal with sleep problems was written by “the baby whisperer.” I flipped through it looking specifically at the sections on four month-olds. According to her, I am doing everything wrong and participating in what she calls “accidental parenting.” I am feeding him to often, putting him to bed to late, letting him sleep in to late, not putting him down for his naps soon enough, etc. And her advice for when I put him down in his crib and he cries? Pat his back and reassure him that I am there until he falls into a deep sleep and then leave. Well once Ted is crying in his crib, if I stand there and pat him (on the stomach, since he is on his back, hello? SIDS?) he just intensifies his screams until I pick him up. He does not find any comfort in me standing next to the crib, unless he is in my arms. And feeding him every 4 hours when he wants to eat every 2.5 to 3 hours, don’t see how that is going to work…
After I got Ted to fall asleep last night (where I tried letting him cry a minute, calmed him down, repeat, until it intesified and I finally let him fall asleep in my arms and put him in his crib) I started reading all the reviews on the different styles of parenting books on amazon.com. I read about people who loved or hated “The No Cry Sleep Solution”, “Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child”, and “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problem.”
All my research just left me more confused about which plan I would want to follow. Ted is already sleeping through the night most nights and I really don’t want to mess that up. But it is true that he doesn’t seem to know how to fall asleep on his own and his naps each last only 45 minutes. I think I will try to muddle through some more on my own before buying into one of the systems though.
You’re his mom Kate you will figure out what works
best for you and for Ted. Don’t let some so called experts make you question yourself. Every
baby is different and some just don’t nap much.
I don’t get that standing there patting them thing either! If I was a baby that would tick me
off! I’d be thinking hey I’m screaming because I want you to pick me up not pat me! I know sleeping and getting them to sleep is a very stressful issue. Now if he took after his Grammy G he would ASK if he could nap!
I have no experience getting babies to sleep, but I think Mrs.S is right – what ever works for EBD will end up working. If feeding him every 2-3 hours works (which, uh… I’m guessing it does since he is growing like a weed and that is what he is SUPPOSED to be doing) then perfect! No one idea will ever work for every kid the same way! If it did, then it would be easy. By the way, that is a super cute picture, “I can point at you and suck my thumb” – multitasking at its best!!!
love
K&J
I really feel for you. you could me from a few years ago.
The thing about advice on getting your baby to sleep is that they don’t tell you that your baby will scream “blue murder” and that all your maternal heart strings will SNAP!
However, you do need to help your little learn to sleep by himself though.
A routine is a great idea. Babies just love it, no matter how boring or old-hat it seems to the parents.
When my daughter was 4 months old she got into a horrible cycle of being too tired to feed properly and too hungry to sleep for long. I had to break the habit of feeding her to sleep and to show her that she could get to sleep by herself.
I used to put her in the cot on her side facing away from me, and pat her firmly on her hip. I’d kneel on the floor and reach in through the bars of the cot, that way she couldn’t see me.
Oh, and yes, she’d be screaming like a banshee at this point.
Once she’d calmed down I’d slow the patting down and end up with my hand just resting on her hip. If she seemed calm I’d move away and leave the room for a few minutes.
If she started crying again, I’d leave her for a couple of minutes and try again.
If she was asleep I’d roll her onto her back.(VERY IMPORTANT re SIDS)
As she got older I’d stop patting earlier and leave the room for longer.
I found that within a few days she was able to get herself off to sleep and her overall sleep improved too. Mind you, I had to keep doing it everytime I put her down for a sleep for months.
Hi Kate! Yeah, sleeping can be tough. Will he nap in a bouncy seat? We found pretty early on we didn’t have the energy to carry around the twins until they slept. We tried the Ferber method around 5 months for their bedtime, it really sucked at first(week or two!). It is pretty torturous for Mom especially. But, they did learn that it was okay to be in their cribs. Sometimes crying can kind of help them fall asleep I think. That sounds kind of cruel, but Elliot couldn’t fall asleep without it. But now he loves to lie around in his crib. I think you can go awhile without worrying about Ted’s sleep habits-he’s still little. I think you’ll enjoy his naps once he gets the hang of it. Good luck!
Hang in there Kate! Jack did a lot of crying around 5-6 months before going down at night. I like the give them 5 minutes method. Then you can go in and rescue. I don’t know that I always made it 5 minutes, but I did try to watch the clock and make it longer and longer. Then he magically got attached to his little bee toy and is good to go as long as he has it to cuddle with. Ted will find something soon! Jack is even hanging out comfortably in his crib alone in the mornings now, very nice when trying to get ready for work! Good luck The only thing for certain is as fast as he grows, he will change
I always liked the “Jack Danials” method. For the parent not the child, he may cry but you can’t hear them. :) On the series side, check the gums, ours started cutting teeth early, a little ambesol on the gum can go a long way.
good look